


Weekend At Stark's

by Bam4Me



Series: Amber's Birthday Gifts [1]
Category: Avengers, Spiderman - Fandom, The Hulk - Fandom, The Ultimate Spiderman
Genre: AU- Avengers Know Who Peter Is, But Only Because SHIELD is Full of Assholes, Disasociative Identity Disorder Peter, Gen, M/M, its Amber's birthday, schizophrenic Peter, she needs all the birthday gifts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-16
Updated: 2015-09-16
Packaged: 2018-04-21 01:17:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4809395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bam4Me/pseuds/Bam4Me
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You know, this just was not Peter's day. First there was that guy that tried to throw him off a billboard, then JJJ was being a dick again, and now he's been used as a chew toy by a hell hound.</p><p>Of course, it had room for improvement, but, that was before he saw something giant and green standing behind him, looking like it was worried about him.</p><p>At this point, it could get better... or worse... depends in the Hulk's mood, really.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Weekend At Stark's

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Usheryes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Usheryes/gifts).



> Okay, so, my sister, (usheryes.tumblr.com) is 22 today (sept. 16th) and so, I have given her a thing, because I am broke, and in another state. Go love and follow her on tumblr, and wish her a happy birthday. She deserves it.

“Dr. Banner, I caution you that at your current rate of-“

 

“I know, Jarvis.”

 

Bruce stepped into the elevator and pressed the button for the garage, watching the numbers go down a lot slower than usual. “Dr. Banner, if you’re planning on leaving the building in your current predicament, I will have to inform the others.”

 

Bruce nodded, “That might be best. I don’t think the Hulk will hurt anyone right now though, just needs to head out for a bit.”

 

***

 

Tony was actually eating for once in the communal kitchen, when Jarvis interrupted them all, making Tony sigh. There was a reason he never got a full meal.

 

“Sir, I regret to inform you, that Dr. Banner is leaving the premises while on the verge of transformation.”

 

 

“Okay, Avengers assemble, got it.”

 

***

 

Spiderman was not having a good day.

 

In fact, he’s pretty sure this counts as a very bad day.

 

He’d had a run in with no less than five doom bots in the park today (and Fury is a jerk, cause he didn’t even send any back up because ‘you can handle it yourself.’ …well, Spidey _can_ handle it himself, but, that’s still very rude) and he’s pretty sure that Nova was avoiding his calls when he tried to get a hold of him to help move half a billboard back onto the roof it’d fallen off of (you know, to help traffic and all that.)

 

This was supposed to be his day off. He was supposed to be at a fundraiser helping out Ava who had been on him all week about needing someone else to keep screaming children from mauling her… again.

 

He could only hope that she had been watching him get his ass handed to him on the jumbotron. JJJ really needed to lay off the ‘Spiderman Live Cam’ for a day and a half, because he was making it very hard to actually do his work instead of constantly trying not to look like a fool on camera.

 

He’s actually very glad that he wore a mask, because he’s pretty sure he’s made some amazing faces while landing ass over head on the pavement.

 

And now, well, now, he’s currently staring down a very angry looking… uh, hell hound? It looks like a hell hound, actually, it looks like a hell hound with rabies. On cocaine.

 

Jesus Christ, that thing looks mean.

 

“Bad dog, not hurt bug man!”

 

And that was the last thing he heard before rabies from hell went flying over a six story building and Spidey was left standing in front of the Hulk, who did not look sad to see him go. Damn, Spidey almost felt bad for the dog.

 

“Hey, buddy. Watcha doing out, today?”

 

Hulk looked down at Spidey before picking him up, making him huff when one large finger pressed a little too hard into his side and knocked the wind out of him. Hulk sat on the ground and started looking Spidey over. If Hulk didn’t know how important it was to keep his identity a secret, Spidey would almost be worried that Hulk would have taken off his mask in his frantic search to make sure that Spidey was okay.

 

“Hey Webs! You okay in there?”

 

Spidey nudged Hulk’s hands away from him a little so he could see over his shoulder. The rest of the Avengers were there, suited up and looking wary. Shit.

 

Spidey pulled back and looked at Hulk, “Hulk, what are you doing out of the tower?”

 

Hulk gave him a pout, “Bug man got hurt. Needs Hulk.”

 

Spidey couldn’t hold back the grin at that one, “Thanks, Hulk. That was really sweet of you to take care of that dog for me.”

 

Hulk nodded quietly, still lightly petting Spidey’s back. It felt a lot more calming than it probably should have.

 

Spidey pushed his head above Hulk’s shoulder again and nodded, “Yeah, I’m doing okay. You guys get called out for something?”

 

Iron Man touched down on the pavement next to Cap, who didn’t look so pleased right now, “Jarvis told us that Hulk had left the tower. We needed to make sure that everything was okay.”

 

Spidey nodded, pulling back again so he could reach up a hand to smooth back the soft curls on Hulk’s head. Hulk seemed to like that.

 

“Oh my God, Web Head, did you see that dog go flying? It was like, ‘ _washa!_ ’ and just, _zoomed_ right over that wall, what happened?” There was a blue blur in the air before Nova was suddenly zooming around Hulk and Spidey. Spidey gave him a sour look through his mask.

 

“Where were you when I called an hour ago?”

 

Nova frowned, pausing next to Hulk while eyeing up the Avengers. “Uh, video games are loud?”

 

Spidey groaned out when Hulk got to a particularly sensitive part of his back, and Hulk stilled, looking worried at him. Spidey just brushed it off and moved Hulk’s hand so it wasn’t touching that part anymore. “Nova, do you and the others have the dog situation under wraps?”

 

Nova nodded, “Yeah. White Tiger and Power Man are taking care of them. There’s only three.”

 

Spidey nodded, “Okay. I think I’m going home with Hulk tonight.”

 

Nova snorted but nodded again, “I’ll tell your aunt that you’re sleeping over at Harry’s place.”

 

Tony gave Steve an odd look, not mentioning how odd Hulk’s petting was getting. Hulk seemed very attached to Spidey.

 

After Nova flew off again, Steve rounded the Hulk and Spidey so he could see something other than Hulk’s back. “Hey, big guy. You wanna let go of Spiderman so we can go back to the tower?”

 

Hulk grunted at him, but didn’t move, so Spidey just laughed and put one hand on either side of Hulk’s face, “Come on, big guy, you gotta be bored out here with nothing but me to amuse you. Well, I’m sure Iron Man is pretty amusing, but I bet the tower is a lot funner, either way. We can go back and hang out together, just me and you.”

 

That seemed to get Hulk’s attention. The Hulk got off the ground, but Spidey let out a small squeak when he realized that Hulk had no intention of letting him go. Spidey sighed before scrambling up Hulk’s arm so he was sitting on one massive shoulder, right next to Hulk’s head, leaning against him. “You know, it’s a pretty nice view up here, nice not to have to walk either.”

 

The other Avengers were kind of quiet.

 

Did you know, that, Peter and Spidey don’t exactly do quiet? In fact, they try to avoid it at all costs.

 

Spidey but his mask above his nose and let out an obnoxious sigh, “So, how did Hulk even find me?”

 

Tony suddenly appeared at Hulk’s side, free of the suit, but holding the metal case in his hand, so, they were probably walking back to the tower. Okay, a nice walk through the city it is. Spidey absently thought that it might be easier to just turn it into a backpack, but that would probably be too _pedestrian_ for Tony Stark. He decided to mention it later, when he was feeling just a bit more annoying than usual.

 

Tony made an odd noise before looking away awkwardly, “Um, I think he, uh, tracked you by… scent?”

 

Spidey laughed at that, “Whoops! I guess I should have taken a shower this morning after all! Oh well, I guess that’s a useful tool and all. Well, along with Hulk’s massive shoulders. Power Man isn’t nearly as comfortable to ride around on as Hulk is. Also, I’m a superhero, people don’t usually give me lifts anyways. This is nice.” He rambled on, reminding most of the team of Tony. He did this two.

 

They were halfway down the first block back to the tower when a black car pulled up and Phil, looking both amused and slightly upset, got out of the back.

 

“Oh goodie! Vice-Principal Coulson is here!”

 

Phil gave Spidey an amused look, crossing his arms before falling into place beside Hawkeye, the car already taking off again. “You look like you got bit by something nasty, Spiderman.”

 

Peter twisted to look down at Coulson before cringing at the blood splatter down his side, coming from the back. Oh, that’s what that pain was.

 

Spidey nodded, “Yeah. You see those hell hounds? I _think_ they were hell hounds. One of them tried to take a bite out of me.”

 

Phil let out an exasperated sigh, making Clint laugh. Normally that sigh was towards either him or Tony. This was a nice change of pace. “Spidey, I think you need to take a day or two off. You look like one of them tried to use you as a chew toy.”

 

Spidey sighed, looking down at his handler, “I try taking days off. New York just doesn’t seem to agree with me on that.”

 

Phil nodded, “I know one way to keep you away from trouble.”

 

 Spidey was quiet for a moment, “…you’re grounding me?”

 

Phil nodded, “It’s not even that bad. You can stay at the tower with Bruce this weekend.”

 

Spidey pouted, “Aunt May will think that’s odd.”

 

“No, she’ll think you’re spending the weekend with Harry.”

 

Spidey pouted harder, “And if she calls him?”

 

“Then SHIELD will redirect the call to the tower.”

 

Avengers Tower was coming up, and Peter felt dreadfully like he was letting Hulk bring him into a prison. He _liked_ being able to stay and go as he pleases. They rounded the building until they were at a garage entrance and Tony put his hand on a sensor to let them all through. Spidey just sighed and leaned against Hulk’s head again.

 

“Coulson?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“…I think there’s something wrong with my left leg. Also, one of those dogs bit me! Oh God, what if I have rabies now?”

 

There was a pause. Phil looked worried for him. Spidey and Peter were like Tony, hard to get to admit they’re hurt, and Clint, willing to continue on even though they’re bleeding out on the floor.

 

“Sir, if I may, I believe Spideyman has fractured his left leg close to the ankle, and does not seem to possess any traces of rabies from his wounds, though the one on his upper back, could use cleaning.”

 

Tony nodded, pressing a button in the elevator for Bruce’s floor. He would have anything they needed to treat Spidey. “Thank you, Jarvis.”

 

Spidey was quiet for a few more seconds before speaking again, his voice shakey. “St-Stark?”

 

Tony looked up at him with worry, “Yeah?”

 

“Is god talking through your ceiling?” His breath hitched, making the others worry, “Oh god, you guys heard that too, right? I’m not, b-but, no no no, I _cannot_ be having a mental break right now! I have a math test on Monday!”

 

He felt a hand on his right ankle, the one that didn’t hurt. He looked down to see Phil had a firm grip on it, making Peter’s breath hitch. Because, that’s who he was now. His panic had momentarily sent Spidey back into his head, leaving Peter alone, with nothing but his mask to hide behind.

 

“Peter, breath.”

 

Peter let out a shaky breathe, fumbling at his mask before pulling it off fully, one hand was held tight in Hulk’s dark hair. “You guys heard that too, right?”

 

His voice sounded like more of a squeak than anything. “Yeah, kiddo, we heard that too. That’s Jarvis. He controls the tower.”

 

Peter nodded, looking slightly sick, “Oh… okay.”

 

***

 

Peter had what you would call a ‘healing factor’ which meant that he would probably be find by the end of the weekend.

 

Just in case though, Phil made Bruce (who had transformed back as soon as he had deposited Peter on a couch for Phil to check out) get him a walking boot.

 

“Why? I don’t need a cast.”

 

Phil nodded, dabbing at the slowly healing bite marks on Peter’s back. “Yes, but would you rather stay in bed for three days?”

 

Peter turned just enough to glare at Phil, “No.”

 

“Then you’ll wear the boot.”

 

Peter leaned forward on the couch, wincing when Bruce stuck a needle into his right thigh, sewing up a gash that had been loosely held together by the tightness of his spandex. Until they’re taken it off.

 

Actually, it probably would have healed just fine if they hadn’t, but the loss of constriction had left him with a slightly gaping wound in his thigh.

 

This was not a good day.

 

“Coulson?”

 

Phil hummed a little, “Yes, Peter?”

 

Peter thought for a moment, “I’m not having a mental break?”

 

Phil paused, sitting back before going back to wrapping the bandages. Bruce let him take over wrapping up Peter’s thigh after he was done stitching and went to sit by Peter’s head, “Hey, kiddo. Why do you think you’re having a mental break?”

 

Peter shrugged before wincing. His arm had been dislocated within the last two days… “Nothing makes sense right now. My head’s all fuzzy. You didn’t give me any meds, did you?”

 

“No. We didn’t.”

 

Peter nodded, “It’s like, my head keeps going in any out.”

 

“That might be the pain. Do you want something for it?”

 

Peter shook his head, “No thanks. I just don’t want to stop feeling. I keep losing time.”

 

Bruce nodded, “You have a slight concussion.”

 

Peter was quiet for a minute.

 

“Petey, why do you keep saying you got attacked by hell hounds?”

 

Peter looked over at Bruce with a scowl, “That’s what they looked like. Don’t worry, I’m not getting some religious psychosis on you.”

 

“That’s not what I mean. To me, that just looked like a jumbo sized dog with a bad attitude.”  


 

“Now you’re making fun of me for not knowing what I was looking at with a concussion and several fractured bones? That’s not nice of you, _Dr._ Banner.”

 

Bruce frowned, “Don’t give me lip, Peter. I’m worried. How in the hell did you get so damn beat up today?”

 

Peter shrugged, pulling the pillow he was laying on closer. “Ran into some doom bots. One of them tried to bar-b-que me. After that, some asshole tried robbing a bank, and I ended up getting the short end of the stick and had to deal with that one. Then the dogs came and used me as their chew toy.” He sighed, “it’s been a tough day.”

 

Bruce nodded, pulling a blanket off the back of the couch and laying it over Peter’s mostly nude body. “Jarvis, can you turn down the lights? Peter, I want you to sleep, okay? Do you need any medication for the pain?”

 

Peter made a humming noise, shaking his head, “No. Can one of you stay?”

 

Phil nodded his head and took a seat in the armchair next to the couch. “I’ll be here, just go to sleep.”

 

Peter nodded and pushed his head into the pillow. Bruce took in a deep breath before getting up to leave and go talk to the rest of the team (normally Phil’s job, but Phil seemed more worried about his student than the adults in the building.) Just before he got to the door, he heard Peter make another noise. When he turned around, the boy was looking at him. “Tell Hulk I said ‘thanks’. I know you guys watch when I’m on the live feed, and I’m not sure I would have made it out of this one if he didn’t come find me.”

 

Bruce nodded, unable to speak for a moment.

 

Peter just turned over and went to sleep.

 

***

 

When Peter finally woke up again, he couldn’t hold back the wince at the feeling of the stitches on his thigh pulling.

 

It was already half healed at least, and he was gonna need someone to pull them out for him. That wasn’t gonna feel good.

 

He nearly fell off the couch getting up, catching himself at the last second only to nearly eat coffee table when he almost slammed into that.

 

Still probably concussed.

 

_Calm the fuck down, Peter. You’re in a safe place, no sirens are blaring, you aren’t expected home any time soon. Just calm down, get up slow and steady, let your body have a chance to adapt._

 

Heh, like that was gonna happen. He tried to go slow, but he could feel his bladder _pulsing_ right now, and if he didn’t empty it soon, it was just gonna pop.

 

He felt a hand on his arm and quietly mumbled out, “bathroom,” without opening his eyes. He mentally thanked whoever it was though, when they lead his somewhere else. He hoped it was towards a bathroom, because if not, he was just gonna piss on a wall. It needs out now.

 

When his bladder was finally empty though, he felt a little more like he could walk on his own two feet.

 

Well, looking down at his left leg, he realized why he’d nearly eaten carpet so much. This boot was clunky.

 

Also, he wasn’t wearing much else.

 

Actually, boxers and gauze (in ridiculously huge and odd amounts spread all over his body) seemed to be the only thing he was wearing.

 

He stuck his head out of the bathroom door, head pounding and eyes slited. “Can I have some clothes? Clean ones?”

 

***

 

After stealing Bruce’s biggest sweater, some underwear and a pair of sweats, Peter felt quite a bit better. This might also be due to the odd looking injection that Bruce had given him while he was too distracted by Phil cutting out his stitches, to notice.

 

Bruce was nice like that.

 

Now they were in the elevator again. Apparently, Bruce didn’t keep much edible food on his floor. Weird.

 

“So, s’ this thing like… s’ this where you go after Hulk hunts me down to make sure I’m okay? S’ nice here.”

 

Bruce side eyed Peter in amusement, who seemed to be using his arm to help keep himself upright in the elevator right now. The door opened and Peter’s reaction was a bit slow, so Bruce had to put one hand on his back to steer him into the room, down one short hallway and into a semi loud kitchen.

 

“Oh thank god, the kid survived.”

 

Bruce snorted, leading Peter to a free chair, “You doubted his ability to not die?”

 

“Well, he looked like he was about to die.” Tony turned to Peter, “no offence.”

 

Peter shook his head as well as he could through the fog he was sitting in, “None taken. I’m higher than a kite, say what you want.”

 

Tony gave Bruce an amused look, “You drugged him?”

 

Bruce nodded, “While he wasn’t looking too. I’m much more of a predator than one would think.”

 

Phil scowled, “I’m a vice principal in a school full of young impressionable minds, don’t joke to me about doing that.”

 

Bruce cringed and looked away, “Sorry. I would never hurt Peter, Phil, you know that.”

 

Phil made a huffing sound, leaning over Clint’s back to hook his chin over Clint’s neck, hands sliding into his. If Peter were less high, he would make a joke about finally getting proof that, yes, Vice-Principal Coulson _was_ married, and it _was_ to a boy, but… Peter doesn’t seem to be able to find the words in him. Well, he probably could, but, Bruce was standing right in front of him, and Peter could see the outline of his ass through his pants…

 

Besides, Captain America was in the room. One didn’t just make crude jokes in front of the leader of the free world, right?

 

 

That’s it…

 

“I think he’s drooling. I’m not sure if it’s the drugs, or Bruce’s butt, but one of them is making him drool.”

 

Wait a second, that came from Steve. Steve, you’re not supposed to say things like that.

 

Peter glared at him while wiping the drool from his chin with a proffered napkin from Coulson. These people were all rude, they deserved each other.

 

He kind of liked them…

**Author's Note:**

> Make sure to wish Amber a happy birthday on tumblr or in the comments! (usheryes.tumblr.com)


End file.
